


Burn Til There's Nothing

by Destiels_Celebrity_Status



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Bottom Dean, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, F/F, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Masturbation in Bathroom, Public Masturbation, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Hatred, Shameless Smut, Top Castiel, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, outcast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:56:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8825677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiels_Celebrity_Status/pseuds/Destiels_Celebrity_Status
Summary: And like a moth to a flame...
He begins to burn.
He doesn't want to be saved.
He doesn't need to be save.
He just wants to burn.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! Okay, so if you've read When Worlds Collide and/or Silence Of A Whisper, prepare yourself...this is gonna be worse. 
> 
> As of right now, I have no intention of killing anyone. But that can change. Haha! 
> 
> Those of you that have followed my writing in the last year know I write bad stuff very well. 
> 
> Watch for new tags they'll be updated as the story progresses and will contain triggers if needed.
> 
> Anywhore! On to the story!
> 
> BTW I don't condone drug use. There will be a lot of drug use...

_Dammit, we're is it?_

He's been looking for his damn lighter for twenty minutes now. He just stole a pack from Walmart, so why can't he find a single one? He swears sometimes they just grow legs. 

He grabbed a pair the pants,he wore the day before and searched the pockets, finally finding a solid pink one in the left pocket. When it was safely in hand, he moved to the bed and grabbed the foil square off the chair where he left it. 

He picked up the pen shell and held it with his teeth as he ignited the lighter. The tar on the foil bubble from the heat, and smoke begins to rise. He inhales the smoke through the pen shell and tosses the lighter on his bed, dropping the tin foil on the chair as he lays on his side. Exhaling, he closes his eyes and allow the drug to work it's magic, letting himself float on in a void of nothing. 

 

***

 

The sound of his phone seems so distant, "Come as you are" by Nirvana breaks through to his consciousness. He slowly sits up, reaching for the phone, answering without even looking at who's calling.

"Yeah?" His voice sounds like he just slept for a day.

"Jesus! Finally! I've only been blowing up your phone for twenty minutes!" 

"I was busy. What's up?" 

"Cole Trenton is throwing a killer party tonight. You in?" 

"Cole Trenton? Running back on the football team?"

"Is there another Cole Trenton that goes to are school? Jeez, are you high or something?"

Well...he was...

"Fine, I'll go. But there better be real booze. Not that fruity pansy shit that Damien had." 

"Oh it's good alright. Pick you up at seven Clarence!" 

He looked at the phone until the screen went dark, then hit the side button so he could see what time it was.

6:27pm

Sounds about right. He was usually out of it for a few hours during a high. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, standing up. He had time for a quick shower and change. Maybe even a little pick me up. 

He grabbed a pair of kaki cargo pants out of his dresser and moved to his closet, finally settling on a black long sleeve Nirvana shirt. 

He made his way across the hall to the bathroom that he used to share with his older brother, Michael, before he went off to college and is now studying abroad in England. Part of him held resentment for his brother, the other part was envious that he got out. 

But him? He was stuck here. Forced to live with a father who doesn't want him and a mother who drink to stay oblivious. He doesn't know if he could stand two more years. His junior year just started and everything has gotten worse since his brother left. He begged his brother to take him along, but Michael couldn't. The look on his face told him it killed Michael to leave him behind. 

So why leave? 

That's a question Castiel has been trying to answer for weeks now.

He pushed the thoughts from his mind and stepped under the hot water, letting it wash over him. He washed quickly, dried, and got dressed. Making his way to his room, he grabbed his cigarettes off the desk and shoved them in his pocket. 

As he opened the desk drawer and pulled out the false bottom, grabbing a little baggie of coke when his phone rang. 

"What?!" He growled out his frustration.

"Jeez, chill. I was just gonna tell you I'm here."

"Did you park in the ally?"

"Of course."

"'Kay. Might as well come up." 

"Be there in two shakes." 

He shover his phone back in his pocket. He opened the tiny baggie and dumped the contents on the desk and made two lines instead of one. 

"Little party before the party?" 

Cas looked up at his friend. 

"Just a little." He smiled, offering the hollow pen shell. 

Meg accepted, bending down and putting the pen shell in a nostril, closing the other and snorted the line. Sniffing, she handed the pen shell to him and he did the same. 

"Shit, I'm gonna need some more." He dropped the pen shell on the desk. 

"If you chilled out, you wouldn't need more." 

"Don't see you complaining when you raid my shit whenever you're dry." He rolled his eyes. He sat down and pulled on his shoes. 

"Please. That was like, twice."

"A month maybe." Castiel teased.

Meg rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, let's go before your parents wake up from their stupor." 

Friday nights in Lawrence Kansas mean two things: one, two days of partying. Two, two days of partying. Cas became indifferent to his situation when he was pumped full of downers. He didn't care that his dad ran him down and beat him, or that his mom turned a drunk blind eye. He didn't care that he was barely getting by in school, or that he was bullied and beat up constantly. 

He didn't care about the fact that he was stuck here.

He didn't care if he died.

No. He just wants to burn. To ignite the flame under tin foil or a glass pipe, setting fire to his life so he could watch it burn. 

As Castiel grabbed his messenger bag, Meg rolled her eyes. "Do you have to take that thing everywhere?" 

"Yes? Never know if you'll find something to sketch." 

They climbed in to Meg's '93 Honda Civic and headed off to the party. Listening to 80's and 90's rock. They hardly listened to any bands that appeared after the year 2000. 

Cole's house was what you'd expect if your parents had money. It was a more modern Colonial style 

As they made there way inside, the party was already in full swing. A few jocks were doing keg stands, while others were making out with girls and hoping to get laid. 

Cas only came to these things for pretty much the same reasons: get drunk, get laid. He has never exactly been open about his sexuality, and the whole school thought he and Meg were a thing. 

"I'm gonna go find some booze." Meg said over the loud, terrible rap music thudding through the sound system in the living room. 

Cas played with his lebret piercing for a moment as Meg filtered through the sea of teenagers to get to the kitchen. It didn't take her long to return with two red Solo cups full of alcohol. He gladly took the cup, taking a few gulps before looking around. 

"Trying to spot your next victim? I don't think the guys are trashed enough yet." 

Cas shrugged, taking another gulp. "I'm gonna see if there's any action I can get in on upstairs."

"Go get em tiger!" Meg winked. 

He was upstairs all of fifteen minutes. Whatever that drink was, it hit him fast. Maybe he shouldn't have drank it so fast. It wasn't long until he and another boy stumbled into a dark room, tearing at each others' clothes. He couldn't make out a face, not that he cared since it's been weeks since he's gotten laid. 

He yanked the boys pants down and fished for a condom in his own, before his pants were also on the floor. He pushed the kid to the bed, rolling the condom overy his erection, moaning at the slight friction. He was gonna wreck this kid, his ass will definitely hurt in the morning.

Positioning his tip, he pushed in until he bottomed out. The boy under him tensed but moaned. Cas pulled out slightly and rammed back in, drilling into the kid til they both came. 

Cas was still rocking his hips when the door opened and the light turned on, blinding him for a second.

"Oh my God!" A girl exclaimed.

"What the fuck?! Who the fuck are you and why are you in my room?!" Cole yelled.

The kid sat up, eyes wide.

"Winchester? What the fuck man?!"

Before anyone could say anything the kid has his pants on and was out the door. 

Cas put his clothes on in record time and he too ran out of the room. He looked for Meg everywhere, but when he couldn't find her, he just went to the car, grabbed his bag, and started walking.

Winchester. Dean Winchester. King of the school. Figures. Now he's gonna get his ass kicked by the whole football team. Why did it have to be Dean fucking Winchester? 

If he was being honest, the kid has an amazing ass. Not a bad kisser either.

"No dammit. You can not get hung up on Winchester. He's not even gay!" He told himself out loud. 

His phone went off in his pocket.

"Yeah?"

"Where the fuck are you?"

"Uh, walking."

"Why? Let me come get you."

"It's fine Meg. I'm almost home anyway."

"Did you get some at least?"

"Oh yeah. From Dean fucking Winchester." 

"That's not good."

"I'm a fucking dead man. The whole football team is gonna murder me!"

"Seriously, where are you? You can stay the night at my place." 

He sighed. "Fine." 

At Meg's house, Cas told her everything that happened. How did this happen? He should have paid attention to who he was about to fuck. He could have fucked anyone, anyone except Dean Winchester. Now the whole school will know.

Sure, he's been bullied and beaten up. But it'll be a million times worse now. He'll probably get jumped first thing Monday. Then all day after that. 

"Fuck Meg please tell me you have something, anything!"

"Calm down Clarence. Jeez." She went in her nightstand drawer and got out her kit. It was completed with foil squares, pen shells and a lighter. A heroin kit. Thank God. 

He let himself float in that familiar void of nothing and the image of Dean faded to nothing.


End file.
